Driving Miss Crazy
by Major Wes Janson
Summary: A study of Annie and her driving behavior. A prompt response to loveobsessed999 on Milady/Milord


It all started when Annie got her new car. The blue and rust '84 Accord she had bought with her meager finances when she was cut off by her mother had finally died for good. Jeff certainly hadn't minded giving her a ride, as she had certainly made it worth his while, but even he couldn't argue against her assertion that she was a strong, independent woman who needed her own vehicle. And Jeff hadn't wanted to walk into the minefield that was Britta's argument that Annie certainly didn't need a man to take care of her. He already made that mistake when convincing Annie to move in.

The first signs of trouble were on the test drive. Still practical, even though her summer job as file clerk at the Greendale PD had paid surprisingly well (the previous clerk had been a graduate of GCC, and the department had been desperate for someone to brave the drifts of paper), Annie was drawn to a 2007 Subaru Outback. Her research had been conclusive, even if Jeff had argued for something nicer. At least the Outback was less than a decade old, rather than being more than 5 years older than the driver like her old car.

Abed had wanted to film the entire experience of coming to the used car lot, the test drive, and the negotiations that followed if Annie liked the vehicle. Jeff had a quiet word with Rachel, and couple ended up planning a trip to Six Flags Elitch for the day instead. Armed with a TrueCar report, and a binder of research, Annie and Jeff traveled to the used car dealer. She was going to do the talking, with Jeff merely there for moral support or in case the salesman tried to talk her into a loop as was amusingly easy to do to the otherwise master debater.

Happily, the dealer was clean cut and professional, and was neither crazy nor named Eddy. A mere half hour of jargon about mileage, depreciation, reliability and maintenance costs per mile, and other things that Jeff could care less about. His car purchase had involved finding something impressive looking to show off to the other lawyers of his firm, and then establish a rapport and talk the dealer down into the basement just to keep his persuasion skills in check. All that was left was for a short spin to make sure that the car handled like the one Annie had rented to try out.

Admittedly, Jeff has not been a passenger while Annie drove very often. Mainly various parties or events they went to together where he intended to drink- he had more of an appreciation for alcohol than she did, so she usually offered to be his designated driver. The drive started out well, with a lighthearted discussion of what she planned to name the vehicle, and mild bickering over radio presets vs an iPod playlist. The little grey haired lady in a massive SUV that cut them off and nearly hit them was a surprise. Even more surprising was the way Annie laid on the horn and yelled for the old bat to get out of the way, and watch where she was driving. The sudden outburst made Jeff mentally check the date. Abed had recreated his 'time of the month' calendar at Jeff's request after Jeff had finally gotten over his hangups, apologized, and asked her out. That chart had helped him avoid several disasters, but wasn't responsible for the outburst today. He was about to bring it up and ask what was wrong, but she seemed to settle down quickly and he let it go. The rest of the drive went well, and when they got back to the dealer she signed the contract for her new Subaru. He followed as she proudly drove her new car home, and didn't think about it again.

The issue didn't come up until several weeks later when Shirley scolded Jeff over lunch for teaching Annie profanity. Jeff defended his innocence, confused, until Shirley explained how Annie had launched blistering tirades several times when it was her turn to drive the 'Girls Day Out Express' with Shirley, Britta, and Rachel. Now curious, Jeff started asking around their other friends. Britta and Rachel both confirmed Shirley's story, and Abed admitted that he no longer rode with Annie if other options were available. His theory was that like a Steven King novel, the new car was turning Annie into a monster.

It was quite easy to forget that Annie had a temper. She still kept some stuffed animals, tended to squee at cute stories, and saw the good in people, even Jeff. Normally when she was mad or disappointed she would resort to cutting remarks or manipulation. But on occasion, she was quite capable of throwing a spectacular tantrum- his nose still ached at the memory of her discovery that he had slept with Britta during that first year, the purple pen incident was etched into the psyche of study room F, and her ire over the time he forgot about their three month anniversary still made him shiver, even if both Britta and Rachel had backed him up that a three-monthaversary was not a real thing. This sudden onset road rage thing mystified all her friends though.

What was even stranger was that she didn't even seem to notice she was doing it. Annie could switch between yelling at cars backed up at a green light one moment, and then continue her story about something cute young Ben was doing the next. Finally, Jeff gathered the group to stage an intervention. Armed with several surreptitious phone recordings, they questioned Annie about the behavior, and she merely seemed embarrassed. It was better to vent and let it out than have that sort of anger and stress build up and come out at loved ones, and she asked them to drop it. Abed tried to protest, wanting to know more, but Jeff shut him down and they turned the intervention into a friendly get together.

Eventually, Jeff learned the truth when her brother (a viking lumberjack according to Abed) stopped by. Somehow the topic was raised when she was out of the room, and Anthony revealed that their mother was a very aggressive driver who was often stressed out in traffic. Instead of yelling at other drivers, she would frequently berate her passengers instead. Evidently that had been one of the stressors that had led Annie to try Adderall in the first place. More frequent trips with Annie as a driver, and a new vehicle she was much more proud and protective of had just brought the character flaw to the fore.

Jeff agreed not to reveal their conversation to Annie, and thanked Anthony. Armed with that nugget of knowledge, a lot of things fell into place, and Jeff decided to just let things be. It may not always be good for his blood pressure to ride with her, but so long as she didn't get them arrested, Jeff was fine with letting her yell at random drivers if it helped her. Still, he planned on offering to drive as much as possible when they traveled together. It would just have to do.

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><p>Author's Note: Just a quick response to the prompt by loveobsessed999 on MiladyMilord: "2) Despite all evidence and appearances to the contrary, Annie is the one with Road Rage." I suppose it's not quite a story so much as a bit of character exploration.

Tried the dialogue free style of writing again. Still working on mastering description rather than exposition though.

Intro to Proxy Warfare has not been forgotten about, nor abandoned. It's just really, really behind on updates. I need to just sit down and get all the ideas and scenes in my head down onto paper/keyboard. A beta/someone I could bounce ideas off of would probably help too, if anyone is interested.


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